Obscure Relationship Commentary on Twitter

A good portion of the tweets I’ve read involve dramatic obscure relationship commentary. It’s officially a genre.

The only requirement is that you divulge some very real emotions about a relationship, without providing any details about the other party, so that essentially nobody outside your closest circle will know what you were talking about. It’s most often women who do this, but guys do it too (shit I have). The male obscure relationship commentary tends to be a little more detached, like we are talking about a math problem. “I find it interesting how I am more broken up over a 2+ month relationship vs divorcing after 13 years.” Dude that’s heavy stuff. While it is technically “interesting,” it’s also perhaps reflective of some larger issues.

Facebook doesn’t really have these kind of obscure comments nearly as much. Twitter owns it. Probably because of the difference in nature between followers and friends. Facebook relationship commentary is the opposite of obscure. It tends to be highly targeted. I’ve had several friends read status updates from ex-girlfriends or boyfriends that seemed designed to be read by them and people close to both of them. Things like “I’ll bring my entire voting history to my date tonight,” after a breakup around political differences. It signals that a) the person has a new date and b) they are pissed about breaking up over politics. Not obscure at all. Targeted.

Those of us who post in this genre are more brave with disclosing real emotions, and sometimes a little heavier on the anger side: “Hate boys and their stupid excuses!” But across all of these posts, one thing is consistent: obscurity. The name of the game is venting while keeping the details obscure enough not to identify anyone real to the public, and thus violate some unspoken rule of diplomacy that barely exists on the internet. The other name of the game is bravery. Because I genuinely admire people that are willing to share something personal about their life. It is brave to say “i’m devastated” since most of us don’t like to admit when things are fucked up. It takes courage to share authentically. And for some reason you see much, much less of this on Facebook. Not sure why, but there’s something about twitter that just lends itself to semi-anonymous venting. So let’s give it a whirl with a few of the big winners here, and big thanks to the outstandingly awesome Spangley and Maya Baratz and Jayzombie for their help:

“if you ask me if i WANT to do something & i say NO you have no right be me mad! you asked, i answered. maybe not the answer you wanted…“

bravery: 1 | obscurity: 10 | anger: 10

“In tears again…. Not a good day…..”

“HE MAD HIS CHOICE AND IT WASNT ME SO HEARTBROKEN LOVE SUCKS”

“I hate giving my 100% to a relationship & it doesn’t go as planned…”

“if you ask me if i WANT to do something & i say NO you have no right be me mad! you asked, i answered. maybe not the answer you wanted…“

“I didn’t regret the day he became one of those I’ve loved along the way…“

“I wish sunglasses actually did a good job at hiding tears.“

“I’m crying. Tears. For the first time in nine or ten years. Fuck.“