Comments on: 8 Boyfriend Labels Women Use in Yelp Reviews and What They Really Mean http://boltron.com/boyfriend-labels/ I'm nate bolt and I've made some mistakes Wed, 28 Jul 2010 09:49:01 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 By: Erik http://boltron.com/boyfriend-labels/comment-page-1/#comment-412 Erik Tue, 25 May 2010 23:03:21 +0000 http://boltron.com/?p=22#comment-412 "Guy I’m Dating.<br>Whore."<br><br>Sorry, is there some funny subtext I'm missing here? I was enjoying reading your backlog and was excited about possibly meeting in the future (I'm a good friend of Brynn's and a former grad student of Jim Hollan's)... <br><br>But after that remark, I lost my appetite. “Guy I’m Dating.
Whore.”

Sorry, is there some funny subtext I'm missing here? I was enjoying reading your backlog and was excited about possibly meeting in the future (I'm a good friend of Brynn's and a former grad student of Jim Hollan's)…

But after that remark, I lost my appetite.

]]> By: nate bolt http://boltron.com/boyfriend-labels/comment-page-1/#comment-384 nate bolt Sun, 27 Sep 2009 17:49:37 +0000 http://boltron.com/?p=22#comment-384 Michael - "Man Friend" is the best label ever, because it means the woman writing on Yelp is trying to signal the entire internet that she is, like, totally available. Also, It may be time to re-evaluate your life thus far. I'm kidding - you aren't actually called "man friend" in yelp reviews are you?! Michael – “Man Friend” is the best label ever, because it means the woman writing on Yelp is trying to signal the entire internet that she is, like, totally available. Also, It may be time to re-evaluate your life thus far. I’m kidding – you aren’t actually called “man friend” in yelp reviews are you?!

]]> By: Accomplice http://boltron.com/boyfriend-labels/comment-page-1/#comment-373 Accomplice Wed, 12 Aug 2009 18:24:52 +0000 http://boltron.com/?p=22#comment-373 I am curious what you think of "Man Friend" which is a term often ascribed to me in Yelp reviews -michael I am curious what you think of “Man Friend” which is a term often ascribed to me in Yelp reviews

-michael

]]> By: nate bolt http://boltron.com/boyfriend-labels/comment-page-1/#comment-339 nate bolt Thu, 21 May 2009 04:35:13 +0000 http://boltron.com/?p=22#comment-339 begay - WOW. as usual you are a disaster. love it. begay – WOW. as usual you are a disaster. love it.

]]> By: Begay http://boltron.com/boyfriend-labels/comment-page-1/#comment-321 Begay Tue, 05 May 2009 19:45:44 +0000 http://boltron.com/?p=22#comment-321 Who the hell has time to actually write Yelp reviews? Or blog for that matter…oh wait, maybe Begay does. You've also failed to include the following labels (and their descriptions) - Nicknames:<br><br><br><p> <h4>"Daddy" </h4> <p>or perhaps "Tiger" or maybe even "Doctor Wayne Johnson" would suggest that your playfulness in the bedroom extends to your online typographing experiences. This person is not only constantly thinking about sex but thinking about sex from the perspective of a Romanian opera singer named "Luka" who needs her "dressing room stocked", or whatever you've come up with for this weeks' playtime. H-o-t-t. <br><br><br><p> <h4>Some guy:</h4> You aren't even dating him, you don't really like him but he pays for shit and you spent all your money for the week at Bebe while drunk off of melon ball shots. Congratulations, you are not only 23 and live in the Marina but your soul is void - like *hella* void. Move back in with the parents in Orinda quickly before you start dating hipsters as a backlash. Be careful, they rarely shower.<br><br><br><p> <h4>Hamilton Vicerory Gregorio Hapsburgion II:</h4> You are so proud that you are dating a guy with a suffix that you not only change “Jr.” to “II” but you include *both* his middle names. You are pathetic and probably watch Real Housewives of Whatever-fucking-city-has-rich-and-terrible people in it. You also probably don’t use Yelp because you don’t know how, so you force your Hispanic employee/pseudo mother to your children (who also have ridiculous names) Marta to do it for you. Everyone despises your existence, but none more than Marta.<br><br><br><p> <h4>Sexy Strong Steve:</h4> You feel it important to modify the proper noun so much so that you’ve been relegated to onomatopoeia. Yes, my spell check works – but you constantly need to build him up in your mind and must use your English degree from Sarah Lawrence to do so. He is probably either a) not sexy, b) not strong or c) gay. So, by modifying him with additional adjectives, you’ve used the clever guise of language to assuage your fears of your impending break due to a situation beyond your control. The first time you see him not be able to lift a couch you are out the door and probably into the arms of a douche bag (see “Some guy”). It is a vicious cyle.<br><br><br><p> <h4>Boltron</h4> let’s see the other side of this coin, the things MEN WITH PENISES write in Yelp describing their women friends. Begay out. Who the hell has time to actually write Yelp reviews? Or blog for that matter…oh wait, maybe Begay does. You’ve also failed to include the following labels (and their descriptions) – Nicknames:


“Daddy”

or perhaps “Tiger” or maybe even “Doctor Wayne Johnson” would suggest that your playfulness in the bedroom extends to your online typographing experiences. This person is not only constantly thinking about sex but thinking about sex from the perspective of a Romanian opera singer named “Luka” who needs her “dressing room stocked”, or whatever you’ve come up with for this weeks’ playtime. H-o-t-t.

Some guy:

You aren’t even dating him, you don’t really like him but he pays for shit and you spent all your money for the week at Bebe while drunk off of melon ball shots. Congratulations, you are not only 23 and live in the Marina but your soul is void – like *hella* void. Move back in with the parents in Orinda quickly before you start dating hipsters as a backlash. Be careful, they rarely shower.

Hamilton Vicerory Gregorio Hapsburgion II:

You are so proud that you are dating a guy with a suffix that you not only change “Jr.” to “II” but you include *both* his middle names. You are pathetic and probably watch Real Housewives of Whatever-fucking-city-has-rich-and-terrible people in it. You also probably don’t use Yelp because you don’t know how, so you force your Hispanic employee/pseudo mother to your children (who also have ridiculous names) Marta to do it for you. Everyone despises your existence, but none more than Marta.

Sexy Strong Steve:

You feel it important to modify the proper noun so much so that you’ve been relegated to onomatopoeia. Yes, my spell check works – but you constantly need to build him up in your mind and must use your English degree from Sarah Lawrence to do so. He is probably either a) not sexy, b) not strong or c) gay. So, by modifying him with additional adjectives, you’ve used the clever guise of language to assuage your fears of your impending break due to a situation beyond your control. The first time you see him not be able to lift a couch you are out the door and probably into the arms of a douche bag (see “Some guy”). It is a vicious cyle.

Boltron

let’s see the other side of this coin, the things MEN WITH PENISES write in Yelp describing their women friends.

Begay out.

]]>