Terms for significant others are a subtle part of the Yelp experience, because our stories of eating are so often tied to who we are out with.
Standard. It’s most often dropped right up front and has a very specific purpose. For example, “My boyfriend told me about this restaurant so I was excited…” The deeper meaning is that you should stop thinking you might click on my profile and check out my photos. However, you can continue reading my review once you take a second to re-adjust your mind set, perv.
As in “I had eggs and the boyfriend had salmon.” This says that I’m comfortable mentioning I’m in a relationship, but secretly things are not as stable as I would like. Adding “the” in front makes it seem more solid. Like “the moon” or “the IRS.”
Nobody says this. Ever. Except one dude to another. Especially one 70’s black guy to another.
Similar to the boyfriend, putting “the” in front of husband is slightly different. In this case it’s an attempt to make it seem like I am more happy with my marital roles than you other, more troubled, couples. We accept our roles and are happy with them, and want you to know that while we have our problems we are fine. Ultimately, I am the wife and he is the husband. It’s so simple, see?
Not that everyone has a boyfriend named Rick, but when complete strangers simply use the first name of their partner, they are telling you so much. “When Rick ordered the foie gras, our waitress was totally eyeing him. That bitch.” It’s supposed to communicate that he is so intertwined in my life that I don’t need to give him a label. But what it really shows is that I never meet anyone new because I only talk to the same six people.
As in, “me and my boy are going to see the Jonas Brothers tonight” This ghetto attempt at gender equality is appreciated, but somehow seems awkward. It sounds like you are talking about your son. Your son that is the same age as you: 15. Or possibly that you are a dude talking about another dude. As in,“My homey Chuck and my boy Rupret.” Maybe if more women use this it will gain popularity, and I get that women might do it to protest being called “my girl,” but there has got to be a better way to battle that. Like just asking nicely.
Guy I’m Dating.
Now we’re just being silly.